impleri

OK…i think i have it down enough to move around….ahhh….breathing room. Well, i guess i should introduce myself and explain my use of the lowercase first person singular pronoun, nominative case (id est: ” i “) instead of the proper grammar dictated capitalization of said pronoun. Here we go:
Me:
My name is Christopher. i generally respond to anything from “Chris” to “Topher” to “Hey you over there!” i am currently attending the University of New Orleans in (amazingly…) New Orleans, which is, oddly enough, in Louisiana. Louisiana’s education system (from primary to post-secondary) is really crappy (49th in the nation…?). To make matters worse, Louisiana pays its teachers poorly. On top of this, the New Orleans area is below average compared to the rest of the state. So, no, i am not very happy where i am. Where am i? Well, i live with my parents (again)…well, my mother (Laurie) and step-father (Peter) (who will, undoubtedly make many, many appearances here.) to be exact. My parents divorced when i was very young (2 or 3?).
My father (Chuck) remarried when i was 12 to Jeaneen. She’s lazy…to say the least. They have then produced two boys (Colin, soon to be 10 and Cameron, 7). My relationship with my father has been very (well…severly) strained over the last 30 years or so of my existence (NOTE: i am under 30 years of age). His parents (Grandma and Grandpa) have been really good to me (supporting me with funds and the like) while being typical grandparents (spoil the child…parents will deal with it).
My mother was living with this one guy (Erik) for about 3 years. They had a son (Austin, now 10). They then parted ways…violently. Thankfully, though, Erik has matured a good bit and even talks to my mom (which is something that i cannot say yet of my father Chuck). Four years ago, my mother remarried to this really nice (but oblivious to reality) guy (Peter). He is a Geography professor at U.N.O. (the university i go to, remember?) and is even the chair of the Geography department. But, don’t let that fool you: he still cannot read a map. His major area of concentration was birds and zoogeography (particularly the migration of coastal birds). He can tell you all you wish to know about birds (and then some more!), but he does not know how to use a hammer efficiently when nailing a nail (i.e. he chokes the hammer way too much). My mother, a disabled R.N., stays at home. After remarrying, they had two more children: one boy (Pierson, 2) and one girl (Liana, 6 months). Her parents have been deceased for…wow…over ten years now.
So, a recap on my FUN family:
Mother and Father married. Divorced soon thereafter. Father remarried, has 2 boys, and failed to attempt to have a relationship with his firstborn (that’s me). His parents are still alive and even close to me. Mother, gets another boy, then remarries and has 2 more kids. Her parents died over 10 years ago. Both sets of step-grandparents are alive.
OK….extended family:
My father (Chuck) has one brother (Carl) who has been happily married and has 3 children (Jared, 14?; Casey, 12?; and Francesca, 6?). i do actually see my Uncle Carl…but i don’t see the rest of his family much. My father’s father’s mother (great-grandmother) still lives…on her own. She’ll make some guest appearances (and, no, i don’t know her first name..only “Big Maw-Maw”).
My mother, hehe, has 3 brothers (Roy, Brad, and Darren) and 3 sisters (Kris, Janet, and Vicki). This is where things get really complicated….Kris is the oldest of the 7. She works in the school system as the Drug Awareness and Gang Awareness person for most of the high schools in the parish (county for you living outside Louisiana). In her second marriage (which ended by suicide), she had a daughter, Jami (i think that’s how she speels it now). Jami is one year younger than i am and interesting…she should get her own blog. Kris has remarried twice (once to a total wierdo, and once to some hick from North Carolina). This hick from NC, Mark, is no longer married to her because of infidelity**…with her sister (Vicki…my next target). Vicki has 2 children (Jessie and Joshua) from 2 marriages along with 2 step-children from her current (second) marriage. She does not attend family functions because of the above (see **). She will not be making many appearances, except possibly in flashbacks to years gone by. Next, there is Janet. She is really kind, but she has some problems…mentally. She was once a Flight Attendant with Delta, but is now on disability because she’s….crazy. She thinks the government has implanted special chips into her brain to communicate with her and watch her and they are out to get her, etc. They did this by abducting her on UFOs. Get the picture yet? She was once married to a cool guy and they had two children (Eric and Rachel), both whom are well-adjusted college graduates living nice lives in lucrative careers. Janet was the person that got my mom into dog breeding (more on this later). She has some really good days where she is almost normal. She’s fairly frequent in my day-to-day life. Next is Roy. He’s a normal man with a stable job of 20+ years, a wife of 15+ years (Cathy), and a daughter (Amanda) 13 years old. He’s kinda my godfather (for those of you not up to date on Catholic traditions, a godparent is one who vouches that if anything occurs that would make living with one’s parents impossible [death, etc], the godparent is supposed to take care of the godchild.). We have the same birthday (so therefore, he’s cool). He (and his family) show up at all the family gatherings. Brad is also a normal man. He is married (only once) with 3 children (Katie, RJ, Tyler). His wife is named Vicky (not to be confused with my mother’s sister Vicki who is the outcast). Vicky’s parents live 2 houses down from my father’s parents (which is also around the corner from my aunt Kris’s house). Darren is the black sheep of the family. While very intelligent, he lives a mediocre life of working for concert lighting companies and being drunk the rest of his time. i haven’t seen him in a few years…in fact, none of the family has really seen him. Roy hears from him every so often, but that’s about it.
OK, that’s my family 101. Test will be later. Now, back to me.
As i said before, i attend U.N.O. i will be graduating in May 2005 with a B.A. in Philosophy and a minor in European Studies (thanks to the overabundance of German classes i have taken). My major area of studiy is Metaphysics and Epistemology. After that, i will be on my way to Grad School (which i will leave for another day). i’m single with no children. i went to a selective, private high school (which i will totally adore via monetary gifts when i actually have money). i was raised by my mother who was, at the time, a student in nursing school. i can be classified as a “Christian,” but do realize that i hate that title. A slightly better term would be “postmodern Christian,” but the postmodern part of me wants to eject the “Christian” name altogether and use a different one, and the “Christian” side of the world rejects this thing called “postmodernism”…especially those that don’t know what it means. i currently work at la Madeleine French Bakery and Restaurant. It is the pit of hell. Even though i am a “Certified Associate Trainer” and shift leader, i am one of the least paid workers (yes, this has been verified). The place itself is marketed as a fast food alternative for upper-class families living in the suburbs of New Orleans. These people are the worst clientele i have ever seen (not to mention some of the least intelligent). Don’t get me wrong, we do have some really great customers…but these are our regulars (i.e. those that come in at least once a day…at the same time every day…and buy the same thing every time). i am currently seeking employment elsewhere. The rest of the world of employment will be for a later rant. On top of my 20 hours per week at la Madeleine, i run my mom’s kennel of 25 dogs. Every day, the kennel is cleaned, the dogs are released outside. Weekly, the kennel is sanitized twice, and the dogs are bathed and groomed. i keep watch of the dogs and ensure the females mate with an unrelated male for their entire mating cycle…exclusively. One thing to note here is that when one female enters her mating cycle, a handful others also do so. The kennel keeps me busy another 20 hours per week.
Of course, i still have school. Although i am only taking 12 hours this semester, don’t let that fool you. i am on the leadership team of a campus “ministry” and an active member of the Geographic society (it was funny when, i, a Philosophy major, held office in a Geography club).
OK….it’s now late for me…i’ll continue this later (hopefully). Ciao!