impleri

Yeah, Hospice. If you don't know what Hospice is, let me tell you…Hospice is a health organization that only steps into patient care when the patient has less than three months left to live…with 100% certainty. Basically what happens is, is that the patient has reached a point in his health care that nothing else can be done to prolong life and the patient is given the choice to remain in the hospital (in ICU) where the experts can't prevent the inevitable or to go home and be given a bed, oxygen, etc where the amateurs can't prevent the inevitable. Friday afternoon, my grandfather was brought home by Hospice. They give him one to two weeks…tops. Dialysis is no longer an option; his liver and kidneys are completely shot. They said quite frankly that they don't expect him to live longer than a few days because of the accumulation of toxins in the body. His entire family is going to visit him tomorrow and let his last few days be as calm and peaceful as possible. What does one do knowing that death is coming in the next few days? How does one live? i find that to be quite appalling. Of course, my grandmother, my great-grandmother (grandfather's mom), my great-uncles (grandfather's brothers) my father, and my uncle will take it the hardest because they are his immediate family. My great-grandmother has to bury her son now (she already buried her husband)…That must be weighing tremendously on her. How does one live knowing that (s)he at 93 will have to bury his/her son? That must be really difficult. My grandmother has come to acceptance of the fact, but that won't make the grieving any easier when the time comes. Same with my father and his brother. i know that in my case, i was close to my grandfather…not quite a son, but not simply a grandson and i know that when that day comes (in the next week or so), i will grieve…somewhat normally because i see my grandfather at peace with everything (which is what is giving me strength through these days right now), but i still break down and sob. This journal right here is also something that helps me to collect my thoughts are reflect on things without holding things in. Sometimes, i just don't know what to do or what to think…i normally know what should be, but in this case, the rules and teachings and sayings are out the window. i don't see this as a reflection of the Problem of Evil nor as something God is causing. The thing i find myself questioning is: “Does God 'allow' people into heaven that did not say a handful of words known as the sinners prayer or does he do it on the basis of one's lifestyle and choices, regardless of the words spoken?” i have heard of people dying screaming and kicking because they say demons, but i see my grandfather so peacefully resting watching the Food Network (even though he can't eat any of it). One regret i currently have is not being able to cook more meals with him. i started doing it about twice a month for the last few months, but with all the hospitalizations, finals, job hunting, etc, i've been putting it aside until later, but now, i can't make anything that he can eat. i just don't know right now.

Woohoo! After checking my grades, i made the Dean's List (again). So far, i'm 3 for 4 (last semester i missed it by one grade…but considering i had 21 hours and renovated a house, it was an acceptable loss). Off to bed!

After a while of thought, i have decided to download and watch the Nick Berg beheading video. Interestingly, i have found some sites claiming that it was a hoax/set-up due to some discrepancies which i did not yet read because i would like to see the video first. While it is downloading (i have dial-up, so it takes a while), i can talk about my day.
Today i woke up…well, was awakened by my stepdad fairly early because they (my parents) needed a babysitter so taht they can go and drop off her van that is leaking water (when it rains, of course). As i was a warm body, obviously available and not needing anymore sleep, i was the prime object. Now, don't get me wrong: i don't mind doing this sort of stuff if given advanced warning, but i hate it when they pop up (and wake me up) and ask me to do something that would (1) help them out and (2) inconvenience me. Because i'm not as rude as they are, i won't say no, but i don't like this sort of stuff. i find it rude to drop in on someone and give them a “choice” with only one option. So, as i was rolling out of bed, they decided it would be better if he and i go drop off the van while she stays home to watch the kids. OK…more inconvenience (gas is getting expensive at $19/tank for me and my really tight budget). So, instead of leaving right away with the van, the stepdad hangs around waiting for me to get ready (as if we can arrive together, magically drop the car off in one minute and be on our way back home…ha!). i finally get him to leave and i scarf down some breakfast. Then, i drive over to the mechanic's (by now, stepdad's been there at least fifteen minutes) to find that the mechanic cannot understand what my stepfather is saying because my stepfather (who has a PhD!!!) can't communicate to the mechanic what the problem is (water is leaking into the passenger side door and accumulating in the undercarriage and sloshing around on turns) effectively. So, i translate for the both of them, drag stepdad back home (by now, it's almost 11 AM) and get to working in the kennel. i'll have to visit my grandparents (one of which has less than twelve months to live) some other day because my morning was spent getting a van to a mechanic for my parents.
After spending four hours in the kennel (today was a major cleaning day for me), i came inside to try to study for my new job (after all, there are tests every day while in training that require a 90% to pass and if one fails, he goes home)…only to have to babysit (again) the baby (who is screaming for some ungodly reason) for two hours while mom and the toddler take a bath. Again, i'm not going to be ruder than she and say no, thinking that a bath can't be longer than an hour…ha! Finally, at 6 PM i get to start studying…with a toddler and a baby crying, a TV blaring, and a mom trying to hold a conversation (while not getting the hints that i am trying to study).
i found relief in having to bring my ten-year-old brother to his baseball game (as stepdad got lost in Home Depot….again). Being that the skies were hurling insults (OK, bad pun, i know.)…were threatening to rain, i stayed at the park and waited for either (1) stepdad to show up or (2) the game to be cancelled because of too much rain. After a half-hour of studying (woohoo!), both occured. So, now with it raining (read: pouring), i returned home to study and eat food (for a second time today). Although the TV was still blaring, the kids were quiet. i was able to finish studying what i wanted to study (all the entrees) at 9 PM. Yay! Then i went to the computer, knocked the smaller person off the computer (violent takeover, baby!), and tried to get on. The dial-up was dead. Yay! So, i played aroud some more on my layout for this (still can't upload it) until the dial-up worked. Now here i am…and the video is downloaded. See ya in a few.

Since early this morning (about the time i saw Noah's ark float down my street), i've been unable to play around on my page (this one, as a matter fact!) until now. Even though i woke up at 3:30 AM to close the window as the water was gushing in (nobody had a hose towards the window…it was raining). i then woke up to get to my *new* job for 8:30. Well, as i finally rolled out of bed at 8:00, i noticed the water level in the street…it was “normal.” In the ten minutes it took me to brush my teeth, shave, brush my hair, put on clothes, and walk to my car (with an umbrella the size of Rhode Island….which did no good in protecting from rain falling horizontally), the street had practically flooded. i had to jump from the middle of the street (from where i reached over and opened my door) into my car to avoid having my pants wet. It took my 20 minutes to drive 3 miles because the “normal” road i would take form my house to Chili's (Clearview Pkwy, which, for the record, is a hurricane evacuation route) was closed due to flooding. So, i had to drive 6 miles out of my way (up Jefferson Hwy to Causeway to I-10 service road to Vets because the Causeway/Vets intersection was horrendous from all those “going to the mall at 8 AM in a major rainstorm with flash flood warnings because nobody would be there” people. i actually arrived at Chili's on time. The GM and the Trainer didn't. Both of them were stuck in water with stalled cars. Out of the twelve to thirteen people that were supposed to be there for orientation, Five showed up. Two lived within walking distance (even though they both drove).
The orientation was as boring as every other one i ever attended (except for maybe the Domino's one because i skipped all the boring stuff and just signed my life away). i counted signing one document sixteen times. Yes, sixteen. That was one document! i then received a packet of paper roughly equivalent to the reading material for one 300/3000 level Philosophy class. Included was an evil booklet of all foods sold at Chili's. i highly advise not reading that on an empty stomach. Also, i had some study guides highlighting all the foods, listing ingredients, cashier/kitchen codes, and proper display and serving instructions. i was told to memorize all that by my first shift, which is tomorrow at 3:00 PM. Now, after three hours of “studying,” i know most of what i need to know for tomorrow. What fun! On my way back home (at 11:00 AM), i discovered Clearview was just re-opening.
My mom and i went to Whole Foods to buy *organic* food (her latest kick) and figure out our dinner for the night. After two hours and $200, we returned home. The afternoon was spent cleaning the kennel (i'll tell more down below…finally) and having “family time” (which meant being in the living room, eating the healthy junk food and watching the movie. Some notes: Goat cheese tastes good. Mini-toasts are too thick to eat with goat cheese. Germans make good beer (if you didn't already know). Runaway Jury was a good movie…and quite accurate to New Orleans (we discussed half the movie where different things were that we saw…the motel they stayed in [The London Lodge] is on Airline Hwy about 5 minutes from house…i pass it everyday going to school. and it's that trashy, if not worse, but it's not in Orleans Parish [iirc], so the court probably would not have sequestered the jury there…).
And now, here i am, typing this.
OK, the kennel (which i promised ages ago that i would explain in more depth). My mom owns 25 small-sized dogs (Maltese and Shih-Tzu)…mostly female. We (read: i) breed them and sell the puppies after they have weaned (and are in good health). Although it may not sound like much, my responsibilities include cleaning the cages six days per week (i get one day off.), feeding and watering the dogs all seven days, bathing all dogs fortnightly (once per 14 days), keeping the dogs shaven and groomed, ensuring that the dogs that nate nate with the correct one and only with the correct one, sanitizing the entire kennel twice per week, keeping the floors clean (mopping it twice per week generally does the trick), cleaning & bleaching the driveway twice per week, and bathing the two inside long-haired Maltese once per week. This totals to about 15 hours per week. Since i've been here, the average litter has gone from two male pups to four pups (either two or three male). This has resulted in an increased supply, which brought about increased sales, which has resulted in my recent $1 pay raise. i would do only the kennel because the money is good for the little bit of work i do, but i can't work any more than 20 hours per week, so that is why i have a “real” job as well. My stepdad is supposed to be my “supervisor” (i.e. he should go into the kennel and make sure that it is staying clean and the dogs are healthy and clean), but he is basically worthless in that aspect. He is supposed to have some responsibility (taking care of the one dog that can be tempermental), but he always slacks off and i pick up his slack in the kennel as well, which is why i sometimes get irate with him.

OK, off to playing with the page again!

Over the next few days, i'll be tinkering with this page…So, if it looks really crappy, i'm probably figuring out the code!